Master sent me the following. I reprint it here as a public service. When I have more time, I will comment on it.

Red Flags and Dating Tips for Kinky People

"Red flag" is a term to describe a personal trait or
behavior that is common in people who are harmful to their
partners. When getting to know someone online it is very
important that you look for these flags. When you see these red
flags slow down or stop the relationship. Understand that none
of these red flags alone are definitely a sign of a bad person.
They only tend to be an indicator of a problem situation. The
more you see these red flags, the more you are at risk. Many of
these red flags can apply to both unhealthy Doms and subs. These
recommendations are to help you avoid getting into an abusive
relationship. If you think you or someone you know is in an
abusive relationship please contact SOMEBODY!

Red Flags:
1) Tries to separate you from your friends, family or BDSM
community?

2) Avoids talking about personal details.
Gets mad when you ask or quickly ends the conversation or
answers questions with questions.

3)Has no BDSM references or friends you can talk to.

4)Gets angry when you ask for references or ask around
about them.

5)Is inconsistent with details about themselves.

6)Does not give you their home and work phone number at the
appropriate time.

7)Only communicates with you at strange hours and gets mad
if you try to contact them at other times.

8)Criticizes the BDSM community and refuses to
participate, especially if they never were part of it.

9)Consistently breaks promises.

10)Always finds excuses for not meeting.

11)Always puts blame on others for things going wrong.

12)Does not take personal responsibility.

13)Has bad relationships with most or all of their family
members.

14)Pressures you into doing things you do not want to do.

15)Does not respect your limits, negotiations or
contracts.

16)Pushes you into a D/s relationship too fast.

17)Falls in love with you way too fast and swears
undying love before even meeting you.

18)Hides behind their D/s authority and says that their
authority should not be questioned.

19)Tries to make you feel guilty for not being good
enough. Says that you are not a "True" sub.

20)Loses control of their emotions in arguments and
regresses to yelling, name-calling and blame.

21)Puts you down in front of other people.

22)Turns instantly on their friends, going from best friend
to arch enemy at the drop of a hat.

23)Treats you lovingly and respectfully one day and then
harshly and accusingly the next.

24)Goes to great lengths to get revenge on people.

25)Lies or withholds information.
Cheats on you or is overly jealous.

26)Will not discuss what your possible future relationship
could be like.

27)Tries to keep you in the dark about what might happen
next in the relationship.

28)Does not respect your feelings, rights, or opinions.

29)Belittles your ideas.

30)Blames you for your hurt feelings.

31)Abuses alcohol or other drugs.

32)Is constantly asking for large amounts of money from
you or others.

33)Threatens suicide or other forms of self-harm.

34)Deliberately saying or doing things that result in
getting themselves seriously hurt.

35)Monitors your communications (emails, phone calls,
chats) with others.

36)Only interacts with you in a kinky or sexual manner as
if role-playing.

37)Will not have normal everyday vanilla conversations.

38)Never shows you their human side. Is emotionless.
Hides their vulnerability behind their D/s role.

39)Has multiple online identities for interacting with
the same communities.

40)Disappears from communication for days or weeks at a
time without explanation.

41)Is rude to public servants such as waitresses,
cashiers and janitors.

42)Never says thank you, excuse me or I am sorry to
anyone.

Safe Dating and Correspondence Tips
Before meeting:
Do not give out personal information to strangers.
This includes your name, phone number, address, place of work or
email addresses you use for other purposes.
Get a P.O. Box if you need to get mail from them. (Be aware that
in the UK, it is possible to ask the Royal Mail for the details
of the holder of the P.O. Box)
Do not send money to your online interest. There are online
users that earn a living by faking love and pretending to run
into hard times. When you do make telephone calls, make sure
your phone blocks caller ID or call from a public phone. Do not
call collect.
Your number will appear on their bill.
Exchange multiple recent nonsexual photographs to avoid
embarrassment and hurt feelings.
Get a background check before meeting. There are several
services that will do this through the Internet.
Make it clear you are not going to engage in any BDSM activity
on the initial dates.
During the meeting:
Meet in public places, preferably with a friend. Do not let your
date pressure you into going somewhere else even if the date is
going fine.
Try to make your first date a daytime event.
Drive yourself to and from the meeting place. Relying on them
for transportation can put you in an unsafe position.
Establish a safety net complete with safe calls and details on
your date.
Tell your safety net your date's information, where you went and
what to do in case you do not make your safe calls. Make sure
your date knows you have a safety net set up. It is a great
deterrent.
Bring along a cell phone on your date and do not become
separated from it.
Do not drink alcohol on your date or leave your drink
unattended.
Never engage in bondage during your initial BDSM sessions.
Do not leave your wallet or purse unattended. Your date may dig
through them to find out information you do not want them to
know.
If you are traveling to the meeting, do not let them meet you at
the airport or bus station. Use cabs or rental cars for going to
and from the public meeting place. Do not stay with them or let
them make arrangements for you. Do not let them know where you
are staying.
Be aware that safe words, safe calls, contracts, negotiations or
gut instincts will NOT fully protect you from a real criminal.
Take your time and be sure what you are getting into. Criminals
have less patience for difficult targets

Master sent me the following quote:

The Footsteps of Life

When the day comes and you are shown the different paths of life that you could have chosen, how many paths will be marked by your footsteps and how many will be untracked?

There are many things we can do with our lives. This quote points out that we should not neglect to follow all of the paths that we can. I would like to explore writing and making money at it. Perhaps even a living at it some day. But if I don’t start down the path, I will never know where it may lead. People often find reasons not to pursue their dreams. It’s too uncertain; it’s unlikely to happen; it’s too difficult; it takes too much time; etc. The excuses are endless. We can shortchange ourselves by not entering a path that we would like to explore.

There is another dimension to this quote; another thought to consider. When my life is said and done, there will be many paths that I could have chosen, but did not. It’s not out of fear that a particular path was forsaken. Sometimes we have to make choices. We can’t go do all of the paths available to us. Robert Frost said it well in his poem, “The Road Not Taken”.

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The paths I I have chosen are uniquely my own. They make me ME.

That doesn’t sound that profound, but you know what? It is. Everyone, everywhere wants things. Sometimes they are material things: a nice car or house, new clothes, a big screen TV, etc. Sometimes they are not things you can buy: a friend, a spouse, understanding, patience. The list goes on. We ALL want things. Even the richest person in the world can think of things he/she wants.

Most people (myself included) at times forget that being happy is not a matter of not wanting anything. I have so much. As I said to someone lately, I’m not hurting for anything.I actually have quite a lot. Okay, I can compare myself with others and sometimes come up short, but there are a couple of problems with that.

#1
There will ALWAYS be someone who has more. It is not a competition.

#2
You may not realize what they DON’T have. They may be very lonely, or their perfect marriage/life may be a complete sham.

#3
My relationship with Master is a precious possession. I realize many people don’t “get it”, but It makes me very fortunate. Very rich.

Master says that he is rich; rich in friends, rich in family. And I am rich in my Master.

That doesn’t sound that profound, but you know what? It is. Everyone, everywhere wants things. Sometimes they are material things: a nice car or house, new clothes, a big screen TV, etc. Sometimes they are not things you can buy: a friend, a spouse, understanding, patience. The list goes on. We ALL want things. Even the richest person in the world can think of things he/she wants.

Most people (myself included) at times forget that being happy is not a matter of not wanting anything. I have so much. As I said to someone lately, I’m not hurting for anything.I actually have quite a lot. Okay, I can compare myself with others and sometimes come up short, but there are a couple of problems with that.

#1
There will ALWAYS be someone who has more. It is not a competition.

#2
You may not realize what they DON’T have. They may be very lonely, or their perfect marriage/life may be a complete sham.

#3
My relationship with Master is a precious possession. I realize many people don’t “get it”, but It makes me very fortunate. Very rich.

Master says that he is rich; rich in friends, rich in family. And I am rich in my Master.

I recently ordered a new computer. A friend asked me if I had cleared everything through my Master.

I tried to explain. Master is my friend. I have run things by him, but he hasn’t ordered me to “get this or that”. I remember a Dom once said to me that if I didn’t have a webcam, I wasn’t serious about this lifestyle. (I stopped speaking to the Dom.) Master has not treated me like that.

Instead, Master has been my friend, advising me about my options and what he considers important. I think that is something a lot of people don’t understand about this lifestyle. We are FRIENDS. We like each other, respect each other. I ask his advice because I want his opinion. If he wishes to give me an order, he has that right and is free to do so, but that is not what is at the core of our relationship. It is our love for each other as people that cements us together.

You see, it’s not all about he says, I do. How could we be a unit that way? We work together much more than that. That’s what makes us, U/us.