You’ve probably heard about the big fuss Don Imus has caused. In an attempt to be funny, he called the girls basketball team from Rudgers a bunch of “nappy-haired hos”. It seems he is now in very hot water. He has been suspended for two weeks, some of his sponsors have dropped him, and now msnbc has dropped their simulcast of his show. Some black leaders are calling for him to be fired. Mr. Imus himself has apologized and said he was out of line.

Yes, Mr. Imus, you were most definitely out of line. There are those who think what you said was no big deal. I’m sorry, but there is no other way to say this. Those people are wrong. Even if these young ladies refer to themselves this way, and idea that has been suggested but in no way proven, that does not mean it is appropriate for a radio personality to do so. On the contrary, these young ladies, in their response seem to be both intelligent and articulate. And why wouldn’t they be? They are college students, after all.

If I were one of these young women, or their mother, I would be very upset by this name-calling. Mr. Imus said he was trying to be funny and crossed the line. I believe him. One way to “be funny” is to belittle someone else. This time it blew up in his face.

Has this been blown out of proportion? I don’t think so. Not yet, anyway. Do I think he needs to be banned from the airwaves? Nah. Punished, yes. But banning is a bit much. He is off the air for two weeks, plus he is being hurt where it counts, the pocketbook. Losing sponsors is a very big negative.

And he will soon meet with the team of women that he degraded. They have said they will ask him why. He will have to look them in the eye and answer that question. And I don’t think he has a satisfactory answer. I believe it will be a very uncomfortable meeting for Mr. Imus.

Right now Mr. Imus is reaping what he has sown. He is dealing with the consequences of his behavior. That is how it should be. He will take his lumps and move on.

Okay, here in Iowa, everyone’s talking about the weather, so I have decided to give up and join in. We have a saying here in Iowa.

If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes; it will change.

The weather has been weird this spring. March started in with an all out blizzard that closed everything down for three days. I was reminded of the saying that March comes in like a lion, goes out like a lamb. I hoped that it would be true.

We did have some nice days in March. We had one day that, in my opinion, was beautiful, perfect. The high got to 80 degrees. Break out the shorts! But, alas, that was only one day. It seems that things have gone down hill from there.

Now, on April 10, we are getting snow once again. It is snowing those huge flakes, and it has been going all day long. Luckily the ground is warm enough that sticking is negligible. I don’t intend to shovel any of this stuff, and I don’t think snow plows will need to be on the road. But, oh, you should hear the grumbling!

“It’s April! It’s not suppose to snow in April!”

Personally, I try to just sigh and continue on . Old man winter just can’t hold on forever. Eventually the snow will give way to warm, sunny days. I can wait it out. But it’s hard when everyone around me is grousing about their terrible fate in the strange weather. (May God grant that snow in April is the worst thing that ever happens to me!)

I have heard the pagan belief that winter is necessary. It is Mother Nature’s time to rest. “Hey, Mother Nature! Vacation is over! Time to start creating some of the beauty that is springtime!” I doubt I have enough pull to affect any sort of change. At most, I might piss off the grand old dame, thus delaying spring for another six weeks.

So, I think my first strategy for dealing with the less than idea weather is the best after all. Sigh and wait five minutes. It will change.

I have been working on a project recently. It involves reviewing the entries in this blog.

Sometimes I slog through them, conscience of how many pages I have done, how many more I want to go through on any given day. By the time I am done, I will have read and reread and reread what I have written here. I must admit, the prospect does not excite me.

But on the other hand, I often find many gems. I am reminded of things that have happened, feelings that I have had, and the overall journey I have traveled. The trip so far has been wonderful, and it is not done. It has only begun.

So, via this project, I continue my trip down memory lane. And I look forward to the future travels.

The most wonderful words. I came home from work yesterday and, as is my habit, IM’d Master that I was home. He wrote only two words: Call me.

First of all, I loved having him write those two words and knowing that I would obey. That is part of his dominance and my submission. We simply do what we do.

Secondly, we have not talked on the phone much lately. Master has been very busy with his health, which is getting better, by the way, and a professional project that he is working on.

So why did he want to talk? Just because. We hadn’t talked for a while, and he wanted to hear my voice, just as I wanted to hear his. I told him about what I had been doing, coloring Easter eggs, preparing for some changes at work. Nothing earth shattering. We were just sharing, nothing more.

Call me. Visualizing the words on the screen still can give me a thrill. They represent both the dominance of my Master and the caring of my friend.

I would like to respond to a few of the red flags from yesterday’s post.

Red Flags:
Tries to separate you from your friends, family or BDSM
community?

This is a classic sign of an abuser. If you have other contacts, you may tip them off to the abuse.

Avoids talking about personal details.
Gets mad when you ask or quickly ends the conversation or
answers questions with questions.
Is inconsistent with details about themselves.
Does not give you their home and work phone number at the
appropriate time.
Only communicates with you at strange hours and gets mad
if you try to contact them at other times.
Always finds excuses for not meeting.
Will not discuss what your possible future relationship
could be like.
Tries to keep you in the dark about what might happen
next in the relationship.
Disappears from communication for days or weeks at a
time without explanation.

Sounds like they are hiding something. Probably a spouse and family.

Has bad relationships with most or all of their family
members.
Turns instantly on their friends, going from best friend
to arch enemy at the drop of a hat.
Goes to great lengths to get revenge on people.
Is rude to public servants such as waitresses,
cashiers and janitors.
Never says thank you, excuse me or I am sorry to
anyone.

Lots of bad relationships are a bad sign. They can’t ALL be everyone else’s fault, can they? If they treat others poorly, they will eventually treat you the same way.

Does not respect your feelings, rights, or opinions.
Belittles your ideas.
Blames you for your hurt feelings.
Puts you down in front of other people.
Treats you lovingly and respectfully one day and then
harshly and accusingly the next.
Pressures you into doing things you do not want to do.
Does not respect your limits, negotiations or
contracts.
Pushes you into a D/s relationship too fast.
Hides behind their D/s authority and says that their
authority should not be questioned.
Tries to make you feel guilty for not being good
enough. Says that you are not a "True" sub.

Don’t allow yourself to be treated poorly, not even in the name of bdsm. ESPECIALLY not in the name of bdsm.

Only interacts with you in a kinky or sexual manner as
if role-playing.
Will not have normal everyday vanilla conversations.
Never shows you their human side. Is emotionless.
Hides their vulnerability behind their D/s role.

I hate to say it, but there are MANY out there who only want to play. They don’t let you see any more to them then that.

Loses control of their emotions in arguments and
regresses to yelling, name-calling and blame.
Lies or withholds information.
Cheats on you or is overly jealous.
Abuses alcohol or other drugs.
Threatens suicide or other forms of self-harm.
Deliberately saying or doing things that result in
getting themselves seriously hurt.

These are traits you will have to deal with all throughout the relationship. And not great things to deal with, either.

I would like to add one more to the list. If it feels off, if it doesn't feel "right", it probably isn't. Listen to your gut feelings.

There are good people out there, just waiting to meet you. But there are also bad. Be careful and stay safe.