My son A and I have been going round and round. He graduates this year, but he does not want a party or even to invite anyone to his graduation. Most of my family live 200+ miles away. Mostly, we are talking about my father and my two brothers and their families. We see them a few times a year. There are some great aunts and uncles, some second cousins, that sort of thing; people we haven’t seen in years. I wasn’t sure about inviting them anyway, since I haven’t seen them in a long time.
And then there is A’s father. He lives only 90 miles away. He calls every few months, but he hasn’t seen his sons in nearly four years. He also hasn’t paid child support for more than a decade. I have told A all along that how he handles his father and graduation would be up to him.
I asked Master’s advice about the graduation. He’s response was-It’s his decision, but place it all on him.We will be going down to visit my father, and I think I will have A talk to the relatives while we are there. I was going to ask Master what he thought about having A contact the few relativews we would normally invite, but Master does not micromanage his slave. He doesn’t want me to be mindless, unable to make a decision. However, Master, your thoughts are always welcome.
A generally has an aversion to fancy events and the spotlight. He did not go to prom. It was not because he couldn’t get a date: he had girls calling him. He just didn’t want to go. His friends tried to talk him into going to the after prom pary, and they almost succeeded this year. But he backed out at the last minute. I hate to say this, but I’m glad he’s being a pain in the ass for someone besides just me.

Yes, I am back online at home. The new computer is up and running. Last night we finally figured out how to get it on the internet. We called tech support. We clicked a couple of buttons and we were on! It seems it was an I D ten T error. Spell it out-ID10T. Yes, I'm the IDIOT! LOL. The guy at tech support enjoyed that one.

But now I am still struggling with my computer. You see, I had a Mac. This is a PC. Everyone says this is a great improvement, and maybe it will be, once I figure it out! Copy and pasting is different. I'm sure it can be done easily, but pasting doesn't seem to be Alt + v like it is on the Mac. I am used to Appleworks, not word program, and I haven't figured out yet how to do folders for my files. It would be easier to do if I had time to work on it.

Which brings me to the second problem: time. In addition to being gone a lot, I am competing BIG time for computer time. My two boys also want to have access to the new toy. I understand that, and I believe I need to share. But we may have to have sign up times for the new computer.

The first thing I did, however, was to put on Messenger. I can now IM Master! We haven't been online together yet. It has been less than 12 hours after all. But I guess that shows you where my priorities lie.

Nevertheless, I'm sure I will figure it out eventually. Hopefully I will find that this is, indeed, a wonderful upgrade!

If I seem to be missing in action, I apologize. We are currently switching computers in my home, so I will not always be able to access this site and post. In addition, I have a couple of posts prepared, but they are on the old computer. My son began the process of switching without giving me warning.

Anyway, for a few days I may be writing the old fashion way-pencil to paper. I will post when I am able to. I am sure Master will require me to average a post a day, even if I have to skip a day and double up later.

This also means no IM’ing with Master until the new computer is hooked to the Internet. I can email from my email at school, but when using technology at work one must always be mindful of appropriateness. When I am at a more public computer, I can use the email that I have via internet accounts. Real time communication will have to be via phone. It’s so nice to hear Master’s voice, but the phone can make multitasking difficult. And I don’t think either of us wishes to pay for long, companionable silences.

Hopefully, I will be back online at home before long. But for now, we will simply make do.

Last night Master and I chatted on the internet for a few minutes. We just talked about what was going on in our lives. I had the opportunity to ask him what he thought of recent posts and to tell him of my travel plans this weekend. He listened and commented. I guess he let me take the lead. He talked very briefly about how he is feeling healthwise.

Then for a long time neither of us said anything. I was simply aware of his presence. Neither of us had any need for constant chatter between us. I told him those moments were precious to me.

I don’t know if I can even come close to describing it, but that time is like a balm to my soul. It smooths away the rough edges left by the day. It melts away the stresses of life and calms my soul. My Master is my peace in life.

"Is this really a wise strategy for living? Insisting that most of life isn’t to be taken seriously. Relentlessly viewing it a cosmic joke. Having only four guiding principles: one, do as little harm to others as possible; two, be there always for your friends; three, be responsible for yourself and ask nothing of others; four, grab all the fun you can. Put no stock in the opinions of anyone but those closest to you. Forget about leaving a mark on the world. Ignore the great issues of your time and thereby improve your digestion. Don’t dwell in the past. Don’t worry about the future. Live in the moment. Trust in the purpose of your existence and let meaning come to you instead of straining to discover it. When life throws a hard punch, roll with it-but roll with laughter."
--from Fear Nothing by Dean Koontz.

I found this as I was reading the book Fear Nothing. It describes a particular character’s philosophy of life. I have no idea if it describes Mr. Koontz’s beliefs or not. It did, however, strike a chord with me.

Look at the four principles: Don’t harm others, be there for loved ones, be responsible and don’t take from others, have fun. Don’t those make a lot of sense? Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all actually DID those things?

I believe many of the world religions also have these basic tenets. Sometimes zealots screw them up and cause violence, but most religions actually discourage the use of violent means. Religions encourage us to help one another. They required responsibility from their members. And as to having fun, well, usually within certain guidelines, aren’t we to be joyful?

I believe these should be basic rules for living. I’ve learned that worrying about others’ opinions usually just brings me grief. As far as leaving a mark on this world, I believe the best mark you can leave is the one you leave in the hearts of those who love you. It will trickle down through generations. Personally, my biggest “mark” has been left on my children. I don’t need to have my name known by millions.

Spending too much time focusing on the past or worrying about the future is unwise. The past is gone. The future is not guaranteed. What you have is now. Enjoy it.

The purpose of your existence. What is it? Many people have ideas. Lots of people believe deeply that in their ideas. But they can never be PROVEN. So you must trust in the purpose of your existence.

“Is this really a wise strategy for living?” Yes, I believe it is. It may not encompass everything, but it’s a pretty good start.

I sent the quote to Master and asked for his comments. He has yet to respond. Master, I am particularly interested in what your opinion.