I am here.

I wish to serve you.

I need to serve you.

You dominate my mind.

You have taken up residence in my soul.

I long to be only with you.

Others try. But it is not right with anyone

But you.

Only you.

I could never settle for less.

My youngest son, M, is a Mama’s Boy. He hates it when I say that, but he doesn’t read this blog. Besides, it’s true. But maybe things are changing. I have noticed he is hanging out with friends instead of me when he as a chance.

In a week I have to go out of town for a meeting. A few days later, M has to be at a track meet. In the past, he has traveled with me, stayed with my Dad, then we’ve gone to the meet. This means he misses some baseball, however. This year we were making plans, and he asks, “And I’m going with you why?” He has decided he would rather say with a friend for a few days and I‘ll meet him at the track meet.

This is a good thing. I enjoy my time alone, and I’m looking forward to it. But more importantly, this is good because it is part of the process of growing up. M is becoming more independent, which is the whole point of raising children. I want him to become a strong man, capable of standing on his own.

But when he leaves, what will I do? I wish to discuss this with Master. I have already felt the pain of separation as my oldest just graduated and it preparing for college. The end of his high school career has been difficult for me. I will definitely have to have a plan when faced with the empty nest. It is my desire at that time to move on with a new phase of my life. I would like to move to be with my Master. As my children move on with their lives, I hope to move on with mine.

You're doin' all you can to get in them old jeans.
You want that body back, you had at seventeen.
Baby, don't get down; don't worry 'bout a thing.
'Cause the way you fill 'em out, hey, that's all right with me.
I don't want the girl you used to be.
An' if you ain't noticed, the kids are fast asleep,

An' you're one hot mama;
You turn me on, let's turn it up,
An' turn this room into a sauna.
One hot mama,
Oh, whaddya say, baby?
You wanna?

Well, I know sometimes you think that all you really are,
Is the woman with the kids an' the groceries in the car.
An' you worry about your hips an' you worry about your age.
Meanwhile I'm tryin' to catch the breath you take away.
Oh, an' believe me, you still do.
Baby, all I see, when I look at you,

Is one hot mama;
You turn me on, let's turn it up,
An' turn this room into a sauna.
One hot mama,
Oh, whaddya say, baby?
You wanna?

I can't imagine me lovin' someone else.
I'm a lucky man,
I think Daddy's got himself,

One hot mama;
You turn me on, let's turn it up,
An' turn this room into a sauna.
One hot mama,
Oh, whaddya say, babe?
Oh, now whaddya say, babe?
You wanna?

You're one hot mama,
Let's turn this room into a sauna, yeah.
Whaddya say, babe?
Whaddya say, babe?

I heard this song last night. How I want to be that Hot Mama for Master. I am the woman with the car and the kids and the groceries. I don’t have a 17 year old body. But I want so much to turn you on, Master. I want to be the one to take your breath away.

And do I wanna? God, how I wanna!

I have two jobs where the issue of touch is of concern. Because of concerns about touch being inappropriate or misinterpreted, we are discouraged from touching.

I take issue with this. I believe people need physical contact with each other. It must be appropriate, of course, but a handshake, a pat on the back, or a hug are extremely important, both for the giver and the receiver.

So how does this apply with Master and I, especially as we are so physically distant from each other? Master somehow has the ability to touch my soul. I do need frequent contact with him. If I have not spoken to him for three days or more, I become very anxious. I become grumpy and out of sorts. I hate it. But five minute on line with Master Bennet, and its like I come completely under his spell. Suddenly everything is right with my world.

Sometimes I think Master does this purposely. I think he knows how the time away from him affects me. And how it makes the time together sweeter. But, Master, I could still use more of your “touch”.

After I posted yesterday, Master told me he was proud of my post. Then he told me that I was to exercise 45 minutes a day.

Normally, I try for 30 minutes. Master has increased it. Why? I can think of three possible reasons.

First, the exercise is good for me. Master wants me to be healthy, so he is requiring the increase for my own well-being. This is entirely possible. Master has always told me that he wants me healthy.

Another possibility is that I was so happy to be done with the punishment that Master didn’t want me to get cocky. He reduced the amount of time from what is was last week, but to keep me humble he did not allow me to go back to what it used to be.

The third reason I can think of is simply control. Master Bennet is a Dominant, after all, and I am his submissive. He may simply wish to exercise his power of control. That is both his right and his duty as my Dominant.

So what do I think is the reason? I suspect all three figured into his decision, but I lean most heavily toward the third reason. I believe Master is flexing his muscles of control over me. And I will obey.