I have been reading Time Flies by Bill Cosby. In it he remembers his perfect (in his memory) body of his youth, and talks about how things have changed. He discusses such things as the fact that he is slower than he used to be, and he bemoans the unexpected appearance of love handles, as well as a paunchy belly that defies all attempts as relegating it back to its former size.

I have a little different perspective. I was always the “fat kid”. This was before the current obesity epidemic. I was definitely the odd one out. As a result, I never felt young and sexy. I was young, yes, but sexy? Not in my eyes.

Finally, in my 40s, I have lost the excess weight. I have to say, I look good…for my age. I do mourn the fact that I have never had, nor will I ever have, the sexy body of a 20 year old. I have some sags and bags that diet and exercise alone cannot fix. Surgery would be required.

Still, I would love to have a high school reunion about now. I’d love to compare myself with my classmates. I may not be the beauty queen, but I’ve aged well. Considering where I started from, I’ve aged damn well.

And what about Master? What does he think about aging and how I look? Master has told me to grow all with him. There is nothing I want more. I want to be by his side as we journey through life together. I do want to look good doing it, though. And I want to make Master proud of me. I want heads to turn as I walk in a room. And I want guys to be impressed by the woman who is at his side. I want to travel this journey with you, Master. And I want to be a source of pride for you as I do.

I worked at my side job. Tonight, another worker cut her foot and was unable to come in. We had some others stay longer and made due with the staff we had. When I was asked if I would stay until 12:00 am (instead of just until 10:00, like I was scheduled) I said no problem.

And I really didn’t think it would be a problem. I have to work until 12:00 tomorrow anyway. And 10:00-12:00 tends to be pretty quiet. During the earlier, busier part of the evening, I tried to hurry and get some extra things done. Although part of me didn’t like the extra work, I tried to remain upbeat. I hate it when others agree to work extra and then complain about it, so I try hard not to be guilty of it myself.

How would Master feel about what I did and my attitude? I hope he would be proud that I was willing to help, unwilling to complain. I know he likes it when I step up and help out. I considered the extra time and the extra effort on my part to be service to my Master.

I did it. I had pictures taken. I went to a professional photographer. First we did some family pictures, then a couple with the boys alone. Then I sent the boys away and had several pictures taken of just me.

Master said a few months ago that he would like some sexy pictures of me. And, I wanted to reward myself for losing weight. I told the photographer, I don’t expect you to make me look 18, but I want to look good. I think she understood.

I used three different outfits. One was a special black dress that I bought just for Master. Because of the physical distance between us, he has never seen it. Nor have I worn it before. But I did today. My second outfit was a short little skort that looks almost like something you would wear to play tennis, although it is black. I wore a pink and white spaghetti strap top with that. My finally outfit was quite simple: a green top and blue jean shorts. Very country.

The pictures were done on a digital camera. I only saw one. I kind of thought I looked fat, but I have to get those thoughts and feelings out of my head. Besides, it was only one pic out of many. She said she would have the pictures all ready in about a week.

Because I wish to retain my anonymity, I will not be posting the pics here (sorry). But I will definitely be sending them to Master. I hope he will be pleased.

I have been asking, What Would Bennet Do? Yesterday I was a little unsure of what the answer would be.

It was a busy day. I had a ball game in the morning, I took pictures (another post) in the afternoon, and then I was just beat. I laid down at 5:00. At 9:00, my youngest son came back from a baseball tournament he had been watching and wanted something to eat, so I got up.

The problem was, I had not done my 50 minutes of exercise. I really didn’t want to. It had been busy, and I was wiped out. Would Master give me permission to skip the day? He is out of town, so getting in contact with him would be difficult. Getting in contact with him for an immediate answer would be nearly impossible. I would have to make the best decision I could.

After making some food for my son, I went to the school and did my 50 minute walk. Yes, I was wondering around the school, getting my exercise, at 10:00 at night.

WWBD? I’m not entirely sure in this situation. I decided better safe than sorry. But I still wonder, WWBD?

In the same vein, I have decided to increase my water intake by alternating diet Pepsi and water. I had a Pepsi last time I drank something. But I had a really big (1 liter) bottle of water earlier today. Surely I could afford a Pepsi, since I was drinking the 12 ounce cans. Yet, I decided to stick with my earlier “rule”.

This rule, by the way, is not something I have discussed with Master, but I’m sure he would approve. Technically, I would not be disobeying Master by having the Pepsi. But WWBD? I knew. I knew what he would want. I had the water, 20 ounces. And I drank the Pepsi afterward.

Master said I should start my writing thinking about how my subjects relate to the lifestyle. I replied that I needed to approach LIFE that way, and it would reflect in my writing. Master agreed. So how is it going?

I have spent a lot of time asking What Would Bennet Do? If he were standing beside me, what would he think? Would he approve of what I’m doing? Would he want me to do things differently?

Tuesday my youngest was supposed to have a game at 12:30. At 9:30 we got a call that the other team had the game time down as 9:30, and they were here, ready to play. My son was a bit in a tizzy, but I just drove to the field and went back home for a quick bath. I made a salad and returned to the field. I finally had time to think—Would Master be satisfied with the way I handled it? I think so. Plans changed, but I just went with the flow.

Another thing I have been thinking about is my water intake. I am trying to control my weight and my health, and I realize I need to drink more water and less diet Pepsi. Now, I could get in touch with Master and ask him to help me devise a plan to do this, but Master is out of town. Besides, I am an intelligent woman. The important thing is to do something. So, what will I do? I have decided I can continue to drink the Pepsi, but to alternate it with water. I drink a Pepsi, I drink a water. Would Master approve? I think so. I am at least doing something, and we can always tweak the plan later.

So, yes, I am working on What Would Bennet Do. I hope it is helping me to become a better slave to my Master.