At a ball game Friday night, one of the umpires was rather large. He had umped at a tournament earlier this year, and his weight was commented on by several people then. I remember the comments being somewhat derogatory. Fat people are not accepted in our society.
I had to fight the tendency within myself to make similar judgments, and I hate it when people judge on appearance. What did we really know about this man? Nothing.

My Master is a unique individual, and his individuality shows in the way he chooses to dress. He doesn’t look bizarre, but he definitely has a style all his own. So, yes, he is different. He also does not have the body of a Greek god (Did I mention my body is also far from perfect?), but neither his clothes nor his physique have anything to do with my feelings for him.

What is truly special about Master Bennet is something on the inside. It is his soul, his spirit, the essence of who and what he is that I am attracted to. The heart to heart, soul to soul bonding that we have experienced is what makes U/us special.

I have been spending the summer so far watching my boys play baseball. I wish Master could sit next to me and watch the games, but that’s not the case.

But I also wish Master could see the effect the games have on the kids. How do they react to success? More importantly, how do they react to failure? There have been several games where the kids have made several errors, resulting in a lost game. Or the umpire has made an obviously bad call. How do the kids deal with that? How do the parents deal with it?

I am one who says this, too, shall pass. I believe in the grand scheme of things, a bad call or lost game is not going to be that important. I think that kids should learn from those things. They learn that things are not always fair, but life goes on. They learn that sometimes you make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes cost you, but life goes on. They learn that we all make mistakes, but we have to pick ourselves continue to do the best we can.

That is what I hope my kids are learning from this summer of baseball. How best to talk to them afterwards and help them learn the lessons? I do try. I explain that everyone has bad days, both players and umpires. I let them know that umps often know they have blown a call, but can’t really go back and correct themselves. It just doesn’t happen very often.

What Would Bennet Do? What would he say? I wonder that often. I am certain of the lessons I want the kids to learn, but are they learning them? Even though I am slave to Master Bennet, we are still all a family together. I would turn to Master for advice and insight.

(The names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals mentioned.)

I work at a place for people with disabilities. We had a large celebration for the 4th of July, concluding with fireworks. One of the people there, Arnold, is a very quiet individual. He usually avoids excitement and commotion. In the past, we have let him go to bed before the noise and excitement of the fireworks began.

We also have staff member there named Helen. Helen is a bit melodramatic, but she is very good with the people we serve. She has their best interests at heart, and her ideas are usually right on target. If not, it’s usually a matter of her overreacting in an attempt to keep the people safe and happy. I think of her kind of as a mother hen type figure. I’ve found that she can handle most any situation, although when she tells you about it later she will really blow it up into a big event. Think making a mountain out of a molehill.

Anyway, Helen said, let Arnold stay up. I think he’ll be fine. I thought, okay, whatever. I think you’re making a mistake. But I’ve learned not to argue with Helen. If a problem developed, I trusted she would be able to handle it.

Well, the fireworks came, and guess what? Arnold seemed to enjoy them. Helen was right again.

I thought about how that is often true with Master Bennet. At times he requires thing of me that I don’t like, but how many times have I found out that he was right? Many. And I have never found out that he was just plain wrong.

Master has a good sense of things. Like Helen, I can trust his judgment and his love for me. When I think he is thinking outside the box, doing something usual or unnecessary, he is simply doing what is best.

Sitting and watching 4th of July fireworks, I am reminded of some of the first footage of the war in Iraq. I watched the night sky on the television, with the bombs and artillery exploding in the air, and realized that it did look amazingly like fireworks, minus the colors. Weren’t fireworks supposed to look like a war? The rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air, that sort of thing? Maybe it wasn’t the original intent, but that is certainly what I think of on July 4th.

It’s funny how things that are so different can look similar on the outside. Fireworks are a celebration. War is anything but. I reflected that bdsm can be the same. To an outsider, a Dom/sub relationship could look one-sided. It could be misconstrued as bullying, or even abuse. This does not describe the lifestyle that I live. It is not one-sided. Both Master and I must give, and must give our all to this relationship in order for it to work. He rules me because I respect him and his opinion. And rough sex I like.

The fireworks between us do not signal war, but celebration.

This weekend, in attempt to get caught up on things, and to not waste what time I have, I made a to do list. Here are a few of the things that are on it:

Take garbage out.
Put up and seal tents.
Wash clothes
Do something about M’s bike
Mow the lawn
Get things together to send to Master.
Make appointment to get dog groomed.
Make appointment to get dog’s shots.
Cut down volunteer trees
Pull out grass/weeds in sidewalk

I have made headway on this list. The garbage went out, M has a new (used) bike, and the lawn is mowed. The dog is groomed and vaccinated. I have cut down many, although not all of the volunteer trees, and I washed clothes, although there is now another load going.

This is meant as an ongoing list. When I have time on my hands and don’t know what to do, now I have a place to look. Some of these things were written with Master Bennet in mind. I have some things that I’d like to send to him. He is currently at a workshop, and I’d like to get them in the mail soon, so that he will get them when he gets home. And he has asked about how things are going with the lawn, seeing as how we have a lawn police in my little town.

There are other things that are not on the list that I do automatically because Master has told me to or because I think it would please him. I walk my 50 minutes a day, drink more water, I post here, and white underwear is forbidden, so I don’t wear it. Those things have become pretty automatic.

I hope I can build in more things that I do for Master, that bring me closer to him.