Discrimination towards those in the bdsm lifestyle is quite common. Most often people lose their jobs and/or their children over because of their lifestyle choice. This is discrimination and it’s wrong.

I discussed yesterday a couple of concerns about the lifestyle. Assuming those concerns are dealt with, i.e., no children are involved, and activities are consensual, this lifestyle is simply a choice like any other.

Consider, for example, the different sexual positions. Should we discriminate based on the position preferences? Are you right because you like the missionary position? Are you wrong because you enjoy doggy style? Or the woman on top? What if you like a variety? Does that make you a pervert?

What happens in the privacy of your home between you and your lover should stay PRIVATE. It should really not even be a matter for discussion. You cannot judge whether I am a good parent by the sexual positions I find enjoyable. So you cannot judge based on the fact that I like a strong man to take and guide me.

For that matter, how many women do like a strong man? It can even be argued that the Dom/sub relationship is quite old fashioned. My man leads, I follow. Didn’t that used to be the accepted norm? I’m not saying is should be for everyone. I think it’s great that we now have a variety of choices and ways to choose. I’m just saying let me make my choice, and I’ll let you make yours.

There is a lot of discrimination directed toward the practitioners of bdsm. Is it justified? I can think of two ways the lifestyle might be construed as abuse. The first involves children.

BDSM is child abuse IF the children either watch or take part in sexual activities. This is true whether we are talking about bdsm or about vanilla sex. Children should not be involved. Sometimes, curious children may see something they shouldn’t. Many people I know (myself included) have walked in on their parents in the act, so to speak. This is not abuse. It is an accident. The same is true if a child finds an “adult toy”. We should put them away, but, understandably, things happen, in both the bdsm world and the vanilla world. If proper care is taken, and the children are not intentially involved, it is not abuse.

Another distinction to be made is the difference between abuse and consensual activities. Those not in the bdsm world do not understand this. Why would a woman let a man hit her? Isn’t that abuse? Not if she consents to it. I think the big thing here to realize is that in bdsm the sub has (or SHOULD have) a safe word. If she cannot handle things or wants to stop, all she has to do is use the agreed upon word. The Dominant at that point should stop. If he doesn’t, then the line into abuse has been crossed. If she does not say the word, she is in fact giving consent.

What if she is afraid to say the word? Well, whose fault is that? It’s like a woman saying she was afraid to say no, then crying rape. If you don’t say no, how is he to know how you feel?

The bdsm lifestyle is often misunderstood, but when one takes a common sense approach, one understands that it is simply a lifestyle choice.

I’m feeling a bit harried today. Yesterday I worked a 14 hour day. Today I will do it again. I work my regular job from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. For these two days, I am also working my part time job. As soon as one job is over, I go to the second and work until 10:00 pm.

So why do I do it? Well, this week I was scheduled to work Friday night and Saturday day. A couple of days ago someone started to contact me and ask me to work Thursday night for her. I wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of so many hours. I am tired enough already, and I am raising a child. It would be nice if I were home with him once in a while.

Then my co worker made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. She agreed to work Saturday for me if I would work Thursday. I already had Sunday off. An entire weekend off, and I didn’t have any other obligation?!? Sweet!! I took it.

Of course, my son wasn’t real happy, but I figure the time I’ll get to spend with him this weekend will be worth it. Perhaps we will bake…

I mentioned at work that I did this for selfish reasons. One of my bosses said she preferred to think of it as I helped her and she helped me. And I was advised not to answer my phone this weekend, in case they called me in….

HAPPY WEEKEND, EVERYBODY!

I have talked about not being a helicopter parent, i.e., not hovering around my college student son. Well, a bit of information got back to me concerning college. I found out that he either missed or was late for a meeting that he forgot about. Hmmm.

My first inclination was to bring it up to him. Gee, son, what happened with that meeting? Let him know that Momma’s spies reached all the way to college. Keep him on his toes, realizing that he was not out of my sphere of influence. The truth is, my finding out was a fluke. But, hey, good parents use those, right? I call them “teachable moments”.

But then I realized that I would be hovering. My son is in college. It is time for him to make his own decisions and take responsibility for his actions. I need to let him do so.

I wished to discuss this with Master, but we have not. We have had other things to discuss lately. Nevertheless, I am confident that Master would say, “Slave, stop hovering. Leave the boy be.” WWBD, right? I have kept my mouth shut, and I know I have done the right thing.

This is a difficult post to write, but Master says I must address the issue, so here goes.

A person I know in the lifestyle is having problems. Specifically, a vindictive ex is threatening to take the kids because of bdsm. This person contends that I have added to the problem by mentioning him in this blog.

First, although he probably won’t believe it, I must say that I feel bad about his plight. There, but for the grace of God, go I. Discrimination because of our preferences is not unusual. Many in the lifestyle keep a lid on their activities for this reason. I will address this prejudice in another blog.

However, despite my empathy, I don’t feel that I am responsible for his troubles, or that I have put him in danger. I simply have not identified him enough that someone could pinpoint who he is. The truth is I have given more information about my Master and myself.

I wish this person the best of luck in the times ahead.