Yesterday I posted about an incident at a school I work at. Before I posted, though, I made sure I talked to Master Bennet. I wanted to be sure he knew what had happened before he read it on this blog.

I felt that if he had read that on the blog, it would be like reading in the paper about the accident of a loved one. One should not get that kind of news that way. Granted, this did not turn into a deadly or even dangerous situation, but it is reason for concern. I wanted to be sure I told Master myself so that he could ask any questions and know that I am okay.

Besides, Master is my better half. He should know about all the important things in my life.

One of the schools I work in had an “incident” this week. Apparently a threat was made and the police came and took a student away. The student faces some charges and is currently being evaluated.

I am sorry to say that this is not an uncommon occurrence in today’s educational setting. Emotional teenagers often say and do stupid things. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, it is just talk. Unfortunately, places like Columbine and Virginia Tech remind us that the 100th time does happen. In those places people never thought “it would happen here”. Each threat must be approached as if it were genuine, because it just might be.

The well-known school shootings have resulted in a couple of things: first, the kids are used to the idea and often say things or joke about it. They don’t seem to understand the potential seriousness of the situation. As a result, they say things they might not have otherwise said. Second, now that there has been a first (and many more than that) kids have that in their brains. Some who would not have considered that idea of a rampage on their own now have the seed planted in their thoughts.

Was I in any danger today? No, I don’t think so. But you never really know, do you?

Lately things have been rough. As you know if you read this blog regularly, my dog died. Also, a disabled man from the place I work part time passed away. Coming up there is a Mexican holiday that celebrates the lives of those who have died. I seem to be surrounded by the dead and dying, which is having the effect of turning my thoughts to the macabre and the morose. Add to that the fact that my main job has changed, bringing more work and stress, and I am having some serious difficulty staying positive.

Master and I talked about that the other night. I must admit that sometimes I slip into negative thinking, and I am currently fighting that tendency right now. I did a little research today on negative thinking and how to counteract it. The most important thing seems to be to recognize negativity and then to cut it off. When I start to get into a negative cycle of thought, I must change direction. For example, I have thought about writing about the gentleman who died recently. I have refrained from doing so, because with all that has been happening lately, I am afraid I will start spiraling down into a depressing pattern of perception that could not be good. I do not wish to go that direction.

Instead, I took positive steps today. I did the research that I mentioned and found that I am doing the right things. When I notice that I am being negative, I cut it off. I look for the positive. I try to do things that make me feel good. Today I wore a skirt without panties. It makes me feel free and sexy and good about myself, not to mention the fact that I think Master would approve. I just need to keep pushing for the positive.

I also notice that when I am tired my thoughts become negative. There was an article about that on the internet this morning, although I didn’t have time to read it. From the headline it seemed to indicate that the brain doesn’t process things quite right when it is too tired. I knew last night I was tired when I was talking to Master, so I did not tackle this topic then. I was having difficulties being positive.

I posted a few days ago that I have had a good and full life. I still believe that. Sometimes I just need to remember it.

I was thinking about asking Master for a ring for Christmas. A ring as a symbol of our love. But I wasn’t sure how he would react. I thought first I should delve a little more deeply into why I wanted one.

Well, I thought, it would be nice to have a symbol of our relationship. But I already have that. I have a collar that I always wear. It not only symbolizes our joining, but also the type of relationship we have. Would a ring symbolize it better? I can’t say that it would.

Sometimes I think people push for a ring because that is what society says should symbolize a committed relationship. I think that comes from an old but naïve belief that the outside symbol somehow makes the relationship more real, or cements it in some way. But will the ring make us more committed than before? No, not at all. Neither a ring nor a marriage license will make a relationship last.

Our souls, Master’s and mine, are entwined. This is the goal, and it goes beyond rings or symbols.

I sit here at 6:30 am with no writings prepared, and seemingly nothing in my brain, no wisdom ready to pour forth. So what do I write about? Master suggested I write about him. I did start a piece, but I have not finished it. Master is a complicated man, and I was just not capturing what I wanted to. Have you ever had that happen? The words just weren’t saying what you were trying to get them to convey? Well, that’s what was happening. I have put it away and will hopefully work on in some more. I don’t want to post it until its right. I don’t want to do a half-assed job.