Am I old or what? At work this morning, I listened to a young (22) worker bemoaning her sex life. I'm thinking, I don't want to hear this!

One (small) reason was because she was complaining that their schedules didn't allow time for sex. He was gone when she was in the mood, she was gone when he was. I'm thinking, yeah, mine is 1200 miles away. Deal with that one!

But jealousy was not really a big factor. The truth is, I don't want to discuss my sex life or listen to anyone else discuss theirs. The idea of voicing out loud my problems or triumphs in that area is something I often find repugnant. Is this my age? I am twice as old as this young lady. Is it that this woman and I don't see eye to eye? In truth, I overhead this conversation. If we were friends, perhaps I would see it differently. And I realize that with some people, I am willing to discuss my sex life. I occassionally write things here, for example. Okay, that's about it. Who else am I going to tell my secrets to?

Perhaps this train of thought warrants a discussion with my Master and further investigation on my part.

It is so common it is cliché. People complain every year that Christmas is earlier and earlier. This year, on November 6, I was driving home and saw TWO houses all decked out and lit up. So I wonder, why are things different than they used to be.

They definitely are different. When I was a kid my parents refused to let us put up the Christmas tree earlier than 2 weeks before Christmas. On Thanksgiving we would go to Grandma’s house, and on the way home we would pass by a house where the Christmas tree was up and the lights were lit. My parents would just shake their heads at such nonsense. And nonsense it was. No other houses in town were displaying their Christmas finery so early.

Why are we hauling out the trimmings so far in advance? Well, for one thing, the decorations can withstand it. When my parents were children, people had only real trees. You didn’t want to keep a dead tree in your house too long; it would dry up and become a major fire hazard. That is not longer a problem with today’s artificial trees. No pine needles drop, no brown boughs to deal with. It is more practical to keep it up.

People can also spend a lot of time and money on decorations. If you spend $50 on a huge Santa for the yard, then drug it out and put it up, by God, you’re going to enjoy it for as long as you can! And, of course, this is encouraged by the retail businesses, who probably believe an extended holiday season translates into more sales and a better bottom line for them. If it weren’t for Halloween, Christmas Cheer would probably appear in Walmart in October or September.

But I don’t think it’s all the fault of businesses. I think many people want to extend the holidays as well. The holidays are a happy time of good cheer. In addition to the beautiful adornments of the season, there is the wonderful food and the gathering of families. It is all so wonderful. Why wouldn’t we want it to last? Unfortunately, this attitude can backfire. Half of the lights don’t work, the turkey may not thaw in time, and siblings may resurrect arguments from 30 years ago. The holidays are not perfect! That is a myth that only happens in TV specials, and you don’t want to know how many takes they had to do before they finally got it just right.

Whatever the reasons, I think the early start of the season is here to stay, regardless of what I think of it. So, Happy Holidays, everyone. Enjoy the festive season. All two months of it.

As I mentioned a few days ago, a young lady who graduated from the school that I work at died recently. I went to the visitation, and found myself in tears.

What is it about death that make us cry? It makes me so emotional. I didn’t know this girl really well. I knew her mother better, because her mother works at the school. But as I sat in the church looking at the casket and the flowers, I felt a deep sadness. Perhaps it was sadness for a young life ending so soon. Perhaps it is sadness for the family that lost her.

The young woman had tried to commit suicide before. This time, she succeeded. Her mother told someone that her daughter had a disease (depression), and it finally got the better of her. I remember in high school this young lady had been very overweight. Then, after graduation she had stomach stapling surgery and lost a lot of weight. She looked good! Then she started gaining it back. She was just about back where she started from. I wonder, did that contribute to her depression? Losing weight only to gain it back is extremely heartbreaking.

RIP, LLL

Master contacted me yesterday. He has been sick, as I had feared. He was not, however, dead or dying, which I had also feared. He does have an infection and a fractured knee (on top of all of his other painful ailments).

When we finally talked, I was nearly speechless. What could I say? I wished I were there, not only so I would know what was going on with him, but so I could do for him, although I know I would be limited in helping him. But I would help.

I would first make sure he had anything he needed nearby, whether that be his cellphone (I’m sure I’m not the only one who wondered at his disappearance), his medicine, the remote, an extra blanket, ANYTHING he might need. Then I would let him rest but stay close in case he needed anything else. Perhaps I would go into the next room to do other work. Perhaps I would grab a book and sit at his feet.

I am perhaps not there physically, Master, but I am there for you in any way I can be.

I find myself functioning in a daze. My writing may well be ramblings for a while. I have things to write about. A young woman who graduated from the school I work at recently committed suicide. My son had his first college basketball game and sat the bench the whole time. I obviously have thoughts and feelings about those things. But everything is overshadowed by Master, or rather, by his absence.

I still have not heard from him. Since I was not home last night, I did not try to call his relative. I know the name of the family business, however, and I found it online. I now have a way of contacting several members of the family. I am scared to death I will have to go the route, but if I don’t hear something soon, I will do so. I will contact everyone I know of who knows Master Bennet until I find out what has happened. I must.

My life right now is consumed by worry for him. He is my Master. What else can I do but seek him?