“You know you still haven’t told me your name,” Jaric said.

For a moment she said nothing. Jaric had returned every morning for a week. He would bring her books and games and a variety of things to amuse herself. She had asked for some weights and a jump rope as well. She thought he might refuse those things, since they could be used to hit or bind him, but he had provided them without hesitation. Who was this guy?

“Why do you care?” she asked.

“In time you will come to understand that I care more than can be put into words,” he replied. Then he fell silent.

“Lora. My name is Lora.”

“Okay, Lora, you have wanted to leave this room for a long time. I have managed to arrange it, but there is a condition,” said Jaric.

“Condition? What kind of condition?” she asked.

“You must hold my hand. I will not let you go.”

“What on earth for?” she asked.

“I don’t want you to try to run away. I want to hang on to you.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. She was, frankly, confused by her feelings. She knew she should feel offended by the requirement, but he was right. She had been thinking of trying to run away when they were outside the room. But, more, bewildering was the fact that she looked forward to his touch.

He seemed to read her confusion as reluctance. “Do you accept this condition?” he asked.

She lifted her head and looked him in the eye with what she hoped would be a look of strength and defiance. “Yes.”

Jaric seemed quite pleased. “Take my hand.” She did. Jaric opened the door, they stepped through it. Lora was so shocked by the view outside her door that she nearly stumbled and fell. Jaric caught her before she hit the floor. “Are you alright?”

Lora didn’t answer. She just stopped and stared. Her room was small and rustic, making her think of a cabin. She had believed that she would step into woods or perhaps a field when she finally left her cubicle. Instead what she saw was a long, well-lit corridor. She was inside some sort of hospital!

Yes, I had to say those words yesterday. But let’s back up a bit.

After work my son and I went to the store. While putting groceries in the trunk, my son accidently slammed the lid on my thumb. Ow! Actually, what I said was, “You might be walking home!” I thought about swearing, but I don’t swear in front of my kids, and I certainly don’t swear at them (although I felt like it at this point).

At home I made him bring the groceries in because “I had to go put ice on my thumb”.

“I didn’t mean to,” he said. I knew it was the truth.

“That may be,” I said, “but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

He brought the groceries in and put them away while I tended to my sore thumb. I rationalized my ungracious behavior by thinking he caused me pain, so it was appropriate that I cause him some. Of course, I realized that I was being childish and hurtful. I ended up giving him a hug and telling him I was sorry for yelling at him.

In the end we passed a very pleasant evening, each of us going out of our way to be nice to the other. Not such a bad outcome.

I saw a falling star last night. I thought, you are supposed to wish on a falling star, aren’t you? I don’t see them often, so I thought I should take advantage of the wish. I immediately thought of Master. What should I wish for?

I could have wished for him to come visit me, or me to visit him. I could have wished for us to move in together, or even just to the same city. I could even have wished for us to be married. All of those things crossed my mind. But what was the one big thing that I really wanted?

I wished for us to be together as O/one forever. That is truly the desire of my heart. All of the other things are nice, but I really just want for us to be U/us and to remain that way.

W/we have that. I am truly lucky.

Jaric returned the next day with a package.

“What’s in the box,” she asked.

“Several things that I hope will help you to pass the time.”

“I’m not to get out of here?”

“Eventually, yes, but not today.”

Jaric opened the package and began to set several books on the table. She examined the volumes and noticed that all of the writers were unfamiliar to her.

“I read a lot, but I don’t know any of these authors,” she said.

“Try them. If you find one that you like, I will bring you more of his work. If none of these please you, I will find others,” he said.

She set the books aside and peered into the box. “What’s that?” she asked.

“These are carez cards. There are several games you can play with them.” Jaric proceeded to show her the 5 suits of the cards and how they went from values of zero to ten. He showed her a game similar to poker. After half an hour, she began to get the hang of it, although she didn’t beat him often.

“I have to leave soon. I hope you like the books and cards.”

“When can I leave this room?”

“I don’t know, but I am working on it.”

He left her then. She picked up one of the books and started to read.

“Impossible,” Hauntly said from his large, comfortable chair.

“Necessary,” replied Jaric.

“Eventually, of course, but not yet. She has not been here nearly long enough. You are rushing things.”

“She is my amarata, and I know what she needs,” Jaric insisted, his eyes flashing. “I have been very patient so far, but it is time to let me take some control. She needs to get out of that room for a while.”

“She has been, several times,” muttered Hauntly.

“Visits to the medical facility don’t count. She was unconscience.”

Hauntly sighed. “What do you have in mind?”

Yesterday I talked about the little book that my Master has for writing down ideas. Well, I do have a little book, but in it I write…everything I eat. A few years ago I lost a lot of weight, and one of the things I did was to write down everything I ate. My goal was to keep track of how much of each food group I ate so I didn’t over eat. If I did have a cookie of something, I wrote it down, but those were few and far between. The book isn’t really to keep me from eating “bad” stuff; it’s just so I can look at what I have eaten and see that I am getting a balanced diet.

In recent months it’s been harder to keep up with the book. The problem has been mostly keeping it with me. Last night, for example, I left it at school. Now I need to write in it what I ate last night. Master and I have discussed this. Is it really necessary for me to continue to write down what I eat? Can I stop writing it down and just keep track in my head? Or is it the first step down a slippery slope to fooling myself, eating the wrong things, and gaining back weight? I thought I was ready to stop writing, but Master disagreed. I am a compulsive overeater, so he may well be right. So, I continue to write what I am eating.

Now I have to figure out a way to remember my little book!