Mindful that, although I am not required to write about bdsm or Master or our relationship every day, Master does like me to visit these topics, I have thought about trying to describe U/us and O/our relationship. When I do, words seem to fail me.

First of all, W/we are part of a relationship. We are, first and foremost, friends. When things have happened in my life and I needed to talk, I turn to Master Bennet. Upcoming changes beyond my control have sent me running to him lately. I often talk to him about things that I do not want repeated. It is true that he is far away, but, even if he were right here, I could still share with him. Despite the fact that he loves to talk to people, he has the good sense and he self control not to discuss sensitive information. My conversations would be safe with him.

Our relationship is not a pile of bdsm playtime. Before I met my Master, I met another Dom online. He was pretty involved with me, but it was all play. He wanted to know when and how I came, and he wanted to direct it. I asked about anything besides sex and he became impatient. Although that relationship was exciting and interesting at times, it wasn’t fulfilling. Why? Because, in the end, it really wasn’t a relationship.

Do not misunderstand. Master and I do play. I don’t know what he has planned for our June meeting, but I know he has considered playtime, as he has instructed me to buy some handcuffs.

But, if playtime is not the big part of our relationship, how can I define it as bdsm? Where is the domination? Where is the submission? It is within the context of our relationship. The other night I was online. Master came online and messaged two words: call me. I did. Master says to me, you need to call the airline and ask about such and such. I do. Master gives a command, I follow it. If I have a problem with following a command, I bring it to him and we work it out, but he has the last say, and we both know it.

I realize I have only touched the tip of the iceberg where O/our relationship is concerned. But perhaps that is as it should be. Perhaps it indicates that O/our relationship is not shallow, but has some depth to it.

My collar is the most important part of my outfit. I think I’ve said that before. It should not be a strange comment for a slave. Yet, I marvel at the fact that I have been collared for over two years, and I still view my collar as an important symbol.

Let’s face it, relationships can get old. Day to day problems intrude and the lighter-than-air crazy-in-love feeling will not be maintained 24/7. It makes sense that the symbols of that type of new, wonderful relationship will be deemed important. Sometimes, as the newness of the relationship wears off, the symbols are no longer considered so important. Nevertheless, I still hold my collar (and, by extension my relationship with Master) in a place of importance.

In preparation for Master’s visit, I have been looking for some bdsm things. (Specifically, handcuffs, but more about that another time.) I have seen some interesting collars. Many are quite beautiful. The only problem with them is that they would not be appropriate to wear for all occasions, and the relationship IS appropriate and enduring regardless of the occasion. Although I find the collars interesting and often beautiful, I must say I prefer my own, a simple symbol of a real relationship.

I just read this article this morning:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/law/04/02/walmart.decision/index.html

A few days ago, I told you about the fate of Debbie Shank, who, while under Walmart’s health plan, was involved in a traffic accident that left her severely disabled. Her family won a judgment against the trucking company that was at fault, and Walmart was attempting to recoup the money they had spent on her care.

Well, as I had hoped, enough people complained and Walmart listened:

Occasionally, others help us step back and look at a situation in a different way. This is one of those times," Wal-Mart Executive Vice President Pat Curran said in a letter. "We have all been moved by Ms. Shank's extraordinary situation."

Okay, I believe they were moved more by the angry consumers and petitions to boycott, than they were by “Ms. Shank’s extraordinary situation”.

Sometimes things work out the way they should. Score a victory!

I was at a fine arts festival recently, and heard several speakers. Many talked about death. In one, a character sat in the room of a 15 year old girl and pondered the meaning of life. Is that all there is when it is over? Just a room full of stuff with no owner anymore?

Well, think about it. The fact that someone sits in that room and remembers the former occupant says a lot. Other than the debate on life after death, the meaning of life is, at least to some extent, the people you touch along the way. The people you leave behind in your wake give your life meaning. I make a difference. Why? Because when I die, there are those who will pause and remember me and the effect I had on them. This is my legacy. As it should also be yours.

I know a girl I shall call Angel. She comes from perfection. Well, almost. I will get to that later.

But her mother is perfect. She is kind, considerate, intelligent, hard-working, and always on the go. She keeps everything running like just so. There are no loose ends.

Angel’s older sister is also perfect. She is soft-spoken and beautiful and talented. She would never make waves or disappoint.

Angel herself seems perfect. She is a good student, talented in the fine arts, and an athlete. But, sometimes, I am afraid I see cracks. She seems weary of operating on the strain of expected perfection. She sometimes seems to wish she could slack off just a bit. Be a little more herself and a little less perfect.

I believe her father cracked under the strain of perfection. After several (15 or so?) years of marriage, he left the family. I am not condoning what he did. He choose that marriage and lived that life for many years. Running off on his family was wrong. But, sometimes, I wonder if his daughter doesn’t understand at least a little.

Angel will graduate from high school this year. She talked of going into teaching. In a foreign country. Perhaps she is planning her own way of running.