What is the purpose of prom? Why do schools have them? I have been told that originally the idea was to teach students proper behavior at formal events. With students eating chicken off paper plates, I think perhaps the original meaning has been lost.

So what is prom in today’s world? How does it work? First, students in the junior class must come up with a theme and decorate the gym. This can be a challenge, and creativity is a must. It seems there is less and less money for prom every year. The prom budget is determined by fundraisers the kids have, and they really don’t want to sell things. And, let’s face it, people get tired of being asked to buy. Anyway, students must do a lot with a little money.

So, students today learn to be creative. They also learn to organize. Somewhat. Much of the organization is done by the teachers who somehow end up on the committee, otherwise known as “junior class sponsor”. Students are involved in choosing the theme, distributing invitations and the big work of decorating for the event.

What today’s prom is known for is the fancy clothes. Girls can easily spend hundreds for dollars on an outfit, including dress, shoes, hair and any other accessories. Boys, at least, rent their clothing. It’s not cheap, but it isn’t quite as expensive. Many proms now have a “Grand March”. This is when the students parade before staff and community members to show off their fancy duds.

And it’s a good thing they do, because as soon as the Grand March is over, girls kick off their shoes, and boys offer their jackets to their dates (they need them; usually their dresses leave them bare shouldered and cold). So much for all the money poured into their fancy outfits. By the time the dance has started, some of the boys are wearing only the vest and slacks of their original outfit, and look that is macho, but not very formal.

Prom has also become known as a time to get drunk and get laid. In response to that, parents now put on “After Prom Parties”. These keep the students entertained and contained in one area for the night. It seems, on the whole to be successful. With games, prizes (some big prizes, like dorm refrigerators and TV sets) and hypnotists, the kids usually opt for the party.

I have to admit that I do enjoy going to prom. It’s one of the few times in a year that I get dressed up and go out to a nice meal (okay, so it was broasted chicken). I admire the decorations and the hard work that I know they represent. I like seeing the kids all dressed up. I’m not sure it’s worth all the hype and money, but it is tradition. It’s here to stay.

After Master read my last post on education, he said I left too much unsaid. He is right; I did hold back. I could rant and rave about education. I often say, “Someday I’m going to write a book.” Master’s response, of course, is to say, “Quit talking about it and start doing it!”

Anyway, on the subject of students and respect: I don’t mind that they don’t like/respect me (although I think most of my students do, actually). I remember being a teenager. I was definitely smarter than the adults around me who seemed to think they knew so much more than I did. I understand the attitude. I had it, too. It’s okay; for the most part they will outgrow it.

But it is the disrespect from society as a whole that I have trouble with. When kids don’t do well, schools are said to be failing. WRONG! The STUDENTS are failing. And the reasons for that usually are not traceable to the school. If a kid has spent the last three nights out drinking with his buddies, do you really think he will perform well on a test?

I have had students tell me they didn’t care. What, I asked, do you plan to do after you graduate? Oh, they reply, I’ll go snowmobiling and 4-wheeling. And who will pay for it, I want to know. Parents! At least that was the answer I got. I said to this kid, I hate to break it to you, but Mom and Dad won’t be around forever. Then what? No answer.

In the U.S. an education is considered a right. Sorry, it should be considered a privilege. It should not be a privilege you receive because you have money, or even necessarily because you are smart. It should be based solely on attitude. Do you want it? Are you willing to work for it? Then you are welcome to it. I believe every student should be allowed to go as far as they are willing/able to go. And for those students that don’t want to be in high school? Good-bye! Let them get out and get a real job. If/when they come to see the value of an education, let them come back. Many dropouts do just that by getting a GED.

Another thing that grips my ass is that schools in the U.S. are supposedly lagging behind schools in other countries. However, since a high school education is a RIGHT in the U.S. all of our students, good and bad, are tested and compared to the students in other countries. You can bet the other countries don’t test all of their students. Students who don’t make the grade are weeded out. After all, if you are going to spend your life digging ditches, how much education do you really need?

In my school we have an 8th grade graduation (although I hear they are finally considering doing away with it). There was a time that an 8th grade graduation made sense. If you weren’t going on to high school, if you intended to do menial labor, you had all the education you needed. As I say to the kids, how much education do you really need to flip burgers at McDonald’s? But now, virtually everyone goes to high school. We do everything we can to encourage/cajole/require/force students to finish high school, such as restrictions on driver’s licenses for those who are not in school. Sorry, but I think we’ve got it ass backwards. If they don’t want to be there, WHY KEEP THEM THERE? I can guarantee they are not learning anything anyway.

I am also very frustrated with the way legislatures deal with the “problem” of education. In Iowa, they try to raise the pay for teachers. That’s nice. But wait a minute. Tied to that pay raise are hoops to jump though, meetings to attend, longer school years (spent in inservice days, not in contact days with the kids). Do you think teachers don’t know how to do their jobs? Is it really necessary to bring in FORMER teachers to tell CURRENT teachers how to do their jobs?

And merit pay. Students do better, teacher gets more money. But what if you as a teacher are stuck with the party animals mentioned earlier? Even if you are a good teacher, you will not be successful if you have unmotivated or flat out belligerent students.

Students are often tested to see if they are achieving at appropriate levels. Is there something wrong with this picture? Yes, actually, several things.

First of all, the tests used to measure achievement are not designed for that at all. They are designed to rank students. Students are supposed to fall over the entire continuum. Some questions are very easy, some are tricky. That is the purpose of the test. Many teachers say they don’t want to teach to the test. Well, if the test is a good one and measures the information the students should know, why not? I do it all the time. “Here is what will be on the test. Know it.” What’s wrong with that? One problem with that is that the tests we are using don’t measure that at all.

Another problem with achievement tests is that students have no stake in the results. Now we say to students, “If you do poorly, it makes the school and teacher look bad.” Like the kids give a rat’s ass! Now, if we were to say to the kids, “If you do poorly, you do not advance to the next grade,” THIS would mean something. We might actually get an accurate look at what students can and can’t do.

Master sent me the following. I asked to comment on it:

“So much has changed in my life over the past year--physically, mentally, and emotionally. Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed i would be this happy, content, and fulfilled.

Master is not a word i use lightly, nor does He require me to to address Him as such, but nonetheless it is who He is. He is my confidante, my best friend, my mentor, and my lover. He supports me but never forces me to do anything, rather He inspires me. But most of all He truly completes me.

What makes Him special is undefinable. Perhaps it's intrinsic to the person He is. perhaps it's the chemistry of O/our relationship.

i was raised in a middleclass family in middle America... I didn't realize how sheltered a life i had lived until He opened the world to me... and He continues to do that in so many diverse ways. i will forever be grateful to Him for this.”

My first comment was that I could/should have written this, although I did not. Nevertheless, it does it home.

My life has changed since Master and I have been together, although it has been more than a year. I have changed much since that time.

And, although I was raised in a middle class family in middle America, I don’t feel like I’ve necessarily led a “sheltered” life. Different than the life my Master has had, perhaps, but I wouldn’t use the word sheltered. And, if Master were from the Midwest like myself, I don’t think I would be any less drawn to him. I am not his because he can show me new and different things. I better not be. After all, if that is the reason I am drawn to him, what happens after familiarity sets in? Do I fall out of love?

Master is so much more to me than just “Master”. Or, maybe it would be better phrased to say that Master means more than meets the eye. It is not simply a word to denote ownership, but a term of endearment, encompassing all that is mentioned here: confidante, best friend, mentor, lover.

The thing that strikes me the most is that “what makes Him special is undefinable”. I love that. I have tried to put into words what it is about Master that is so special, but I cannot. He defies definition. Yes, I could tell you much about him, but to define him? No.

In response to a recent post, busmanterry commented on the disrespect students have for teachers today. I posted a response and am reprinting part of it here:

But more troubling than lack of respect from students is the lack of respect from society. We are told that schools are failing. No, STUDENTS are failing. They choose not to learn. But somehow schools get the blame. Legislatures require more meetings and hoops for schools to jump through. This improves nothing; it merely adds to the beauracracy in the system.

I don’t know why, but I realize that this strikes at the heart of what I think is wrong with education. Teachers and schools are perceived as failing when kids do not perform. We are being blamed for someone else’s action (or inaction).

It is frustrating.

This weekend, my college son came home. This means, among other things, that I have to share the computer. As a result, there was no post yesterday. After I returned home from work Sunday afternoon, my son was on the computer and he stayed there until he left. Since I get up early, I was in bed by that time.

That was one weekend. What is going to happen in the summer when we are both here!! We will have to learn to share, of course. My son will be working, probably close to fulltime. I, on the other hand, have opted for a more relaxing summer. I’ve had enough of working year around and not taking any time off. So, in the summertime, I anticipate being able to be on the computer when he is working or sleeping. (As a typical college student, he stays up late at night and sleeps late in the morning.)

So, summer I can handle. But I didn’t plan well this weekend. I have not yet discussed this with Master, but I plan to post twice today, to make up for missing yesterday. I hope that will be acceptable to him.