Master tells me I am his BITCH. And I am definitely his. He has the right to use me as he wishes. He has the right to train me and to punish me.

Having said that, I want to point out that I am no dog. It’s not “Fetch this” and “Do that.” It’s not “Serve me then stay out of my way.” I think many Dom/sub relationships are like that.

Ours is not. You see, Master respects me as a person. He often asks me, “What do you think?” He truly wants my opinion. He wants my perspective. Today he was giving me some ideas of things I could do on the job, but he made it clear they were only suggestions for me to consider. He said, “I would never tell you how to do your job. It’s your job, not mine.” I am more than a possession in Master’s eyes. I am a person. A beautiful, intelligent, talented, charming and honest person.

Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Charming
Honest

Yes, I am my Master’s BITCH!

Thursday night I told Master that on Friday, with his permission, I wanted to wear my new red bra to work and go without panties. That got a big smile from him. He liked the idea. And I liked the idea of doing it to honor him.

When I did it, however, it was very close to “that time of the month”. I was afraid that I would have a mess, so I decided I should put in a tampon, just in case. I had already been thinking about Master, and when I slid it into me, I imagined it was him. (Yes, I know. Poor/Small substitute.) I was so wet it slid in easily.

The rest of the day, because of what I was wearing (or not wearing) Master was constantly on my mind. I love doing things like that, things that remind my senses that he is with me.

On Saturday and Sunday I went to my other job. As a submissive, I view life in terms of service. I try very hard to serve others. (This is my perspective. I don’t know how many subs share it. I just know that is who I am.) I spent the day looking for ways to serve others, and thinking I was doing it in service to my Master. I am reminded of the scripture that says, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." (Matt. 25:40) By doing for others, I was doing for Master Bennet. Or so it felt to me.

I have wondered how that will change when I am with Master. He has told me I will serve HIM, which of course I will. I envision me focused on him, doing what he needs. Now, since that is not the case, I find myself serving all so that I can ultimately serve Master. Someday I will be able to narrow my focus.

My oldest son A is a senior. A few days ago was senior night at the football game. I walked with him onto the field, as did that other senior parents. The next day, he had his senior pictures taken.

I mention this because I wonder if this has led to the awful, morbid thoughts I dealt with before pictures were taken. I was taking my daily walk, letting my mind wonder as I sometimes do. I imagined some of the pictures that would be taken. And I started to think about how I would feel if the unspeakable happened. If my son were to die/be killed. (A few years ago, a senior student killed himself just a few days before graduation. His senior picture, as well as other memorabilia that I sure would have been used at his graduation party was used at his funeral instead. Perhaps this is why my mind when from senior pictures to death.) Anyway, I imagined Master coming to be with me, alternately allowing me to cry and forcing me to keep going. I could hear myself saying to him, “I can’t do this. I just can’t do this.” I couldn’t breath. Master kept telling me, “Yes, you can.” My eyes filled with tears.

All of this happened during my walk. I eventually HAD do force myself to stop thinking that way. I had to tear my mind away from such morbid thoughts. But it was unsettling. Was I having a premonition of some sort? Or have I just been reading too many books by Dean Koontz? I suspect the later. (Sorry, Mr. Koontz.)

Well, I didn’t get many ideas from comments, although my guess is along the lines of the one proposed by kochav_ha_erev. I would guess that 25/8 refers to giving totally, at all times, giving more than 100%, although that is technically impossible. However, consider this. I often think I am giving Master everything I have, but then he (or sometimes even I) will find some place that I am holding back. So I find a way to give more. I suppose that means I wasn’t giving my all in the first place, but I do learn to give even more, although I thought I was at 100%.

When Master told me about the term 25/8, I told him I thought it was intriguing. No, it doesn’t frighten me. It excites me. To give more and more to/for my Master. I like that idea.

1. How Do You Like Me Now?-Toby Keith

2. Broken Heartsville-Joe Nichols (Mostly for the line “Here’s to the past, they can kiss my glass...)

3. The Good Stuff-Kenny Chesney

4. Fancy-Bobby Gentry (Yes, I know it was on a previous list. Still a favorite!)

5. The Impossible-Joe Nichols

6. Independence Day-Martina McBride

7. Concrete Angel-Martina McBride

8. My Give A Damn is Busted-Jo Dee Messina

9. You are my World-Helen Reddy

10. I Will Follow Him-Peggy March

With these songs, I choose songs that I like and songs that I felt describe me. Many of them, such as How Do You Like Me Now, show attitude. Sometimes I’d like to go up to people who in the past have not accepted me and say, “Look at me now. You didn’t think I’d make it. Now what do you think??” I still hold a lot of attitude. For a while I thought I was a SAM (Smart Ass Masochist).

I also see a lot of genuine feeling here. The Good Stuff is all about how relationships are the “good stuff” in life, and one shouldn’t take them for granted. I credit this song for bringing me home to country music.

The last two songs I choose because the make me think of Master. Yes, he is my world. Yes, I would follow him wherever he chose to lead.